I don't love CS

The truth is, I never loved CS. I never really wanted to do it. I was, just, intrigued by it. Really, that's all there is to it. Nothing more. My first love was always molecular biology and biochemistry.

I learned math and gen computer stuff to impress my female friend (who eventually became my girlfriend after sophomore year in high school, so I'd say it worked out). All of that, only for a girl. It's funny and poetic at the same time.

Well my love for biology wasn't really the truest either. While I did love it the most, I did not start it because I wanted to explore it. I just really liked "The Amazing Spider Man" and wanted to work in molecular medicine as a field because of it. However, once I started, I was hooked. It was amazing. It felt… surreal. It felt like I belonged there. And it was pretty nice for the most part.

I still had to maintain my facade of loving math and computers and f*cking around with machines because, first, it was fun, and second, it was impressing the love of my life. But yeah, it wasn't really what I wanted to do in the long run, programming, SWE, all that stuff. I wanted a degree in molecular medicine from Oxford, I wanted to work in a lab. This all, would've just been a nice hobby. And a fun one, I must say. I really believe in democratizing tech but I was not supposed to be the one out there doing it. But I never got that, so here we are.

Down to the last ounce of emotion I have for this, and doing what I do best. Be weirdly obsessed with our craft that it's beyond exceptional. Because for me, it was never about the recognition really. I know nobody's gonna come across this, but if you do, just know that there are cathedrals everywhere for eyes that want to see. You don't need to shoehorn yourself to one category and continue enjoying everything you did. I'll make friends in the biotech circle. Amazing friends. And I'll learn from them. I'll have a wall of books on just biochem. Because no matter how hard you try, you never forget your first love.

Ok, maybe not a wall full of books, that's too expensive, but kinda exquisite as well. There's definitely gonna be a homeserver that'll have all those amazing books though. And it's going to be a really amazing time.