If I Could

We all wish to change the past. What if we could?

---

If I could, I would change the past

That one mistake, I would make it my last.

I still live in the fear of pain,

And all my efforts end in vain.

I keep fighting the hatred inside

And try to put my thoughts aside;

Enough have I already seen,

But what does it even mean?

The passion that burned dazzling white

Now is nowhere near in sight.

The choking mist blinds my eyes,

For I can't feel virtue or vice.

Deafening screams of my memories persist

And will soon kill me when I fail to resist.

I can only fight for so long

More so when I'm not that strong.

Freedom has been a curse to me

And often led to more scrutiny.

I just want this to end

And I'll take death to be a godsend.

PS: prolly my oldest work…